Reading Lyssa Adkins' "Coaching Agile Teams", I read something that helped me understand what I was trying to explain to myself without success. And this happened just as Lyssa says: 98% of the times, opening a book at a random page, you might find something that is related with what you are going through or preparing for.
She said: The steps to become master at something are "Follow the rule, Break the rule, Be the rule".
During my martial art classes, I was taught this concept but I didn't really grasp it because I was not competing with my Sensei in becoming a Karate Master.
When I started my new role, I thought I am in between Breaking the rule and Be the rule. But there are two groups that expected from me other things though. One team, the experts hired to kick off and get the ball rolling, expected me to Follow the rule. The teams that I was working with, expected me to Be the rule for them. If you notice, nobody expected me to Break the rule, except myself.
I was struggling with fitting myself into this until I read the steps of mastering at Lyssa's book. It makes sense and I Get It!
Once I understood this, I can position myself better and I know at any point where I am and what others are expecting from me. Once I know their expectation, I run an "intention check" technique and I am not irritated anymore. I just know what they expect. I also know what I can do.
Breaking the rule doesn't have to be noisy and leave behind a mess to clean. It can be done nicely and on a win-win output!
One lesson learnt!